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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?